why i am who i am

i have never been one to deny my introverted nature. i will be the first to tell you that i am quiet and reflective, but not at all shy. 

i read an article today in body + soul magazine that left me thinking, yes... that's exactly why i am who i am. after finishing the article i decided to do a little more research. here is what i learned ::

according to laurie helgoe, author of introvert power, introverts look at the world from the inside out instead of from the outside in. for this reason, introverts tend to be inward focused, consumed more with the world of ideas than action, she said.

so the reason i spend more time thinking about things than actually doing them is because i am an introvert? perfect.

in an interview with sophie dembling of psychology today, helgoe said, as introverts "we are drawn to ideas, we are passionate observers, and for us, solitude is rich and generative." 

i totally agree.

marti olsen laney, author of the introvert advantage, says that extroverts operate like solar panels, drawing their energy from external sources, while introverts operate more like rechargeable batteries, needing time to stop and refuel. 

about.com says "an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people." 

does this sound familiar to anyone else? at the end of the day, there are few things i would rather do than curl up with a thought-provoking book or daydream about the future. and i want to do it quietly.

when i have a spare hour or two, one of my favorite things to do is to wander the aisles of barnes & noble, grab a stack of books and magazines, and then sit down with a grande latte and my recycled green notebook. to read and daydream about the future. all by myself.

according to jonathan rauch's essay in the atlantic, introverts tend to be "more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts." 

i certainly agree that i am reflective, independent, and sensitive... possibly even intelligent. 

rauch, like many other authors on the topic, goes on to suggest that introverts "tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking." and talking. and talking.

now i understand why i have found myself frustrated lately in the company of friends who never seem to know when enough is enough. i wish there was a polite way to say, "you are a very nice person, but please stop talking." 

i stumbled upon a few personality tests designed to tell me how introverted i am, but i'm certain i didn't need a test to tell me what i already know. but it case you were wondering... here are several personality traits that describe me perfectly ::

*i usually need to think before i respond or speak

*i feel perfectly comfortable with periods of silence in a conversation

*i feel more lonely in a crowd than at home by myself

*i rarely feel bored when i have a few hours alone

*i get grouchy without "me" time

*i like to listen more than i like to talk

*i tend to notice details many people don't see

*i am creative and imaginative

my name is scarlet and i am an introvert (and i wouldn't have it any other way).

Comments

[Anne Washington]

A quiet acknowledgment of your prose, your newly discovered affirmation of whatyou already knew. Thank you for sharing.

[Sharyn]

I love knowing fellow introverts - each one of these things describes me to a T.

[Sara*P]

I totally relate to all of this Scarlet. Sadly, time alone is super hard to come by with two small children. I need to try to find a way to sneak out to Barnes and Noble on a somewhat regular basis - I know I'd be a better, happier mom if I did. xoxo

[Nicole]

WOW! Scarlet, that is incredible! Pinpointing some traits of your identity is a wonderful thing. :)
By the way, my name is Nicole and I am an introvert, too. ;) :)

[Diana Albright]

i love this, scarlet. i am an introvert, too. thanks for sharing this bit of yourself. :-)

[Tara]

We should start an Introverts Group. It would be very quiet though ... haha! I don't know that many people who like alone time nearly as much as I do. I remember taking entire days to just recharge in the comfort of my living room with snacks and movies. So hard now with littles. I think that's where my scrapbooking has come in. I can shut myself up in my wee room and be alone (until someone finds me).

[Melanie K.]

Well, did you just describe me or what? With three boys under the age of 6, I get few minutes to myself ... and I do get grouchy! It is kind of funny ... I had to move my scrappy and arty stuff into my bedroom. My hubby likes to watch TV in there ... it aggravates me to no end! And he just doesn't get it ... I want to be ALONE when the kids are finally in bed! I have been thinking of moving into the basement .... (OH ... my favorite treat for myself? B&N, a white chocolate mocha and the arts/crafts section floor!!!)

[Brigitte]

Scarlet, along with being an introvert, you are an awesome writer! I may appear to be an extrovert, because I am outgoing and love people, but in reality I am very much introverted, myself. I absolutely have to have ME time to recharge. I need quiet, reflective thought time in order to interact on the level I do with others. It's good to understand you more- I like that, especially since we are family. Yes, you are very intelligent, too. Hugs!
Brigitte

[Houston]

You are lovely just the way you are! I wish I were more introverted in some aspects... like the talking one, I wish someone would tell me when to stop! Hope you are having a great week!

[joanne smith]

:)

[MandyK]

HI Scarlet, I'm Mandy a fellow introvert(waving).I love my quiet me time. I too love to go into B&N just to look at books and enjoy the peace and quiet of course my brown moleskin notebook is in my hands for notes/thoughts .Lots of thinking goes on in this mind of mine too.Beautiful photo of you and Miss N. Thanks for sharing!Have a great week!

[Sylvie]

Glad to see we come from the same planet Scarlet... ;o)
Please make a layout about this thought, your writing is so meaningful.
xxx
Sylvie (snowbirds)

[Kimber-Leigh]

i love what you've written here scarlet. the list you wrote at the end are all traits that i can also claim. i think that i have some extroverted qualities, but the majority of introverted qualities describe me. i also find that as i get older, i am more comfortable with those qualities. (when i was younger, i think i wanted to be more extroverted than i actually am...) i love that you've put these thoughts and feelings to words. :) and i'm glad you blogged, as always!

[Angela Webster]

I am also glad you posted this! It is great to know who you are or acknowledge things about yourself. I also am an introvert, but I wouldn't have known it without this post! Thanks! I love the pic!

[emily pitts]

such an interesting post. i have always considered myself an extrovert, but many of the behaviors you've described as being introverted fit me perfectly. i LOVE silence and being alone. i guess we can be a bit of both and still be happy. thanks for the enlightening ideas! love you!

[Katie]

Thanks for your post. I am usually a lurker (probably an introvert trait) but felt compelled to comment. I am most definitely an introvert. I've known this for a long time, but I've never really taken the time to break down what it really means to be an introvert. It makes me feel like I'm okay the way I am and shouldn't feel like there is something wrong with me. I think I'll show some of the info to my husband, maybe he will understand me even better! I'd like to show it to my kids, but they are too little....it would explain to them why mommy can get grouchy sometimes:)

[Jessica R.]

Thanks for sharing this. This is totally me. Through the years I was self conscious. Now I embrace who I am because it is who I am and not a negative trait. I hope you continue to blog. I love your work, your writing, your philosophies and can totally identify with them.

[Erin B]

I love this post Scarlet. Such great insight into yourself. I too am pretty much an introvert and love nothing more than a quiet night at home with a good book or my knitting.

[Stephanie Howell]

well i'm about as far from an introvert as you can get, but i still really appreciate the post. so glad you are who you are. :) xoxo

[Stephanie Wheeler]

Guess I'm an introvert as well. Glad to know ya.

[Agnes C]

Haven't seen you on the SC message board - lots of us miss you...pop in!!!

[reyanna]

This is SO cool, Scarlet! I really enjoyed reading this. And I'd love to do more "research" and self-discovery myself. I'll have to drop you an email to find more of your sources.

And I *am* one of those people who talks... and talks... and talks. LOL. You probably found that out when you met me. ;-) LOL.

However, I find myself lately... getting tired of talking, and I *really* would appreciate if people would say to me, "You are a nice person, but please stop talking." I love to listen too, but sometimes I need the reminder... ;-)

So when we hang out again, please tell me to stop talking... whenever you would like! :D LOL.

[Davinie]

Sugar, I'm thinking of you today! Happy Thanksgiving! I can't find your new email address!

[Davinie]

My thought is if I post here you'll probably get some sort of email, and then you'll feel guilty because I have this HI SCARLET post all public out on the WWW, and that will prompt you to email me so that I can find out how you are doing.

That's the hope anyway.

XOXOX